Us married and partnered folk in the mental health blogosphere virtually never talk about our relationships and I’m wondering why tonight.
For me it’s mostly an issue of privacy and respect for my spouse but right now I feel like it could be very helpful if people shared some of what goes on in their relationships with their significant others. It would be for me anyway.
My marriage is not easy. I seem to gather from most people in and outside of the mental health sphere that this is the case for most marriages.
Is there a way to open dialog while remaining respectful and maintaining appropriate boundaries around these issues?
I’m hard to live with right now. The withdrawals in conjunction with nasty PMS make me irritable. My husband in turn gets tired of me sometimes and acts out occasionally even when I’ve not done anything triggered by irritability and I’m completely innocent but he becomes defensive for no obvious reason to me. In general I trigger stuff, but we both get engaged in what seems to be a sort of mild power struggle. We are sometimes on pins and needles.
Over all our relationship is strong. He supports my psychiatric drug withdrawal and acknowledges I’m integrating the panoply of emotions that are coming to the surface over time. He is watching me grow and heal and acknowledges that.
So we have a solid foundation, but sometimes its just darn hard living with anyone at all for me. I did get my own place for a short time where I stayed two or three days a week and found I much prefer living with my husband even though I desperately wanted to be in town where we are now preparing to move. So it’s not like I don’t want him in my life. It’s just sometimes really hard to have him in my life even while wanting him in my life.
Anyone have anything to say to that? I’d like to find a way to talk about this stuff. I’m not sure how. I’d like this to be an open thread for anyone with a partner and anyone who has ever had a partner or anyone who has any insight at all into relationship for that matter. We’re all relational after all. So have at it. I hope we can discuss this.