I want to be young again sometimes---often lately. It hurts to feel I've missed out on so much. My psychiatrist says those of us who suffer much have a special role to play once we're healed. A purpose. She is like a spiritual mentor. Teacher more than doctor really. So--- I have a purpose, she... Continue Reading →

Can’t keep the info on generic Risperdal straight

I've been trying to follow when Risperdal will become generic. I've done two posts on the subject. First one on Risperdal going generic this month, which also includes my concerns about generics in general. And then one later on with new information I got saying it would not be generic this month. Pharmalot whose credibility... Continue Reading →

Back from trip

I took my four day road trip with my mom. I am exhausted. While meeting my doctor was truly wonderful and exciting, being with my mom 24 hours a day (literally) was an extremely difficult ordeal. I need to sort out all the emotional stuff that has surfaced over the last several days. As I've... Continue Reading →

Acute psychosis in mania and schizophrenia

Again a presentation of psychosis as spiritual emergency. My initial diagnosis was based on a spiritual emergency that was triggered by a hallucinogen. I'm sure that had I been dealt with with healing love as mentioned in this video instead of with force as I speak of in this post I would have healed and... Continue Reading →

Oh gosh do I really need some time alone!

Okay I may be sleeping alright, but being with mom 24/7 is really taking it's toll. Sharing a hotel room is really hard. And then we drive together all day long. I need complete quiet private time---it's not happening. Going to the lobby doesn't work where there is hustle and bustle. I feel her energy... Continue Reading →

Writing for my life

Oh my. I've written about how I don't travel well. This has been an issue since I was on heavy medications. I suppose it started once I moved to NC away from CA. I don't remember having this problem when I lived in CA. But for several years now and we've been here six years... Continue Reading →

Arrival of the parental unit

Talk about bad timing. I got my period about two hours before my mom arrived. Granted, I knew I would be premenstrual and menstrual while she was here, what I didn't expect is that this is the worst period I've had since January. As most of you know if you've been reading my blog for... Continue Reading →

A horrible loss

One of my online friends ended her life on Thursday. I found out on Sunday. She was a regular reader and commenter on this blog and she also joined a benzo withdrawal group that shes learned about on my site. We were friends and I'd talked to her on the phone once. She was an... Continue Reading →

Rating my psychiatrist

I went to a bunch of doctor rating sites today and rated the doctor who over-medicated me into oblivion. It was a painful exercise. You see I still have warm, if also terribly conflicted feelings for him. Like I also feel a palpable sense of betrayal and abuse. He destroyed my life all the time... Continue Reading →

Mom is visiting for 8 days

My mom is coming to visit me and will be arriving at the local airport at 9 pm tomorrow. She is actually coming because I asked her to come to drive me out of state to visit the doctor who is helping me so greatly. The doctor feels she needs to see me mostly for... Continue Reading →

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