I’m itching to write something and basically drawing a blank. It’s been days since I wrote anything original. I figured I’d do a quick update on the withdrawal situation in a sort of stream of consciousness fashion.
I am currently down to .25 mg of Risperdal, 77.5 mg of Lamictal and still at the high amount of Klonopin, 3 mg. I had stopped tapering altogether when I met my new doctor. I had stopped for 3 months after 4 years of tapering. I was on 125 mg of Lamictal and .75 mg of Risperdal when I met my doctor.
Again, the all time high was 50 mg of Seroquel, 200 mg Zoloft, 84 mg (? I think) of Concerta, 11 mg of Risperdal, 400 mg of Lamictal and 3 mg of Klonopin with up to 6 mg prn. The four years of tapering this mega amount of psychiatric medications, the largest cocktail I’ve ever encountered, bar one, had left me completely physically disabled. Yes, physically, not mentally. These drugs hurt our bodies, not just our minds. All systems were down. Adrenal and CNS most notably.
In the land of serious drug withdrawal what my doctor has helped me do in the last three months is believed to be impossible. Once people are as sick as I was it’s generally dangerous to continue withdrawing. Without the help of someone specially skilled it’s not wise to withdraw when one feels ill. And frankly, I seem to be learning that for some people it takes many years to recover once adrenals and other body systems are shut down. I was desperately sick and stuck. I didn’t know what I was going to do. The thing is I didn’t give up and I found my doctor. Where there is a will there is a way and I simply refused to give up though I might have if I’d given in to the horribly negative thinking I could be subject to at that time—the thing is I DIDN’T.
My God, I just looked at when I started working with her. My first appointment was April 29th of this year! In just three months she has got me back on my feet and we’ve made over a 35% cut in Risperdal. In general for a neuroleptic at this stage in the game you don’t want to cut more than 5% every 6 weeks!! Many people find even 2% cuts difficult. And I’ve made another approximately 30% cut of Lamictal another drug many people find extremely daunting to withdraw from. Another general rule is to never taper more than one med at a time. I’m breaking all the rules!
There are two things I can account for the great success. First a dietary and nutritional regime that is completely catered to me. It’s extremely individualized. And second, and most importantly the energy work speeds along my healing so awesomely it’s difficult to fathom. I can’t begin to intellectually understand what is going on. And so I don’t even try. I have my life back. That is what counts.
I am profoundly grateful. I wish I knew how to help others in this manner. For now though I can only recommend safe, very slow withdrawal with a solid diet and a generic nutritional regime if someone doesn’t have an expert the caliber of which I have. Also I recommend never starting a taper without getting your body prepared with solid diet and nutritional habits.
I am also learning a lot from my doc and I see a future in my relationship with her. It is her goal to make her patients free from needing her medical attention. I hope that once I am free of her as a patient I can sign on as a student. Already we speak as peers occasionally which is great fun. There are very few people on this planet who know as much about withdrawal and it’s just plain ecstasy to chat about what we’ve observed about withdrawal. She, in her practice, and me in all my email groups and here.
What is frustrating now is how limited I am in being able to help others. But I fully intend to get to a place where I can do work similar to what she is doing. I need to strengthen my energy before I can do energy healings on others though and I need to learn muscle testing and get a license of some sort to make me legal!! It will be a while. In the meantime I hope to serve as an inspiration as that is all I can do for now.
I highly recommend people find energy healers if nothing else—there simply are virtually no doctors who know enough about safe withdrawal—-many people need to work it out for themselves with the yahoo groups I recommend and lots of self-study and the cooperation of an amenable doctor. For most people who have not become profoundly ill from withdrawal, a generic good nutritional regime should be enough on the nutritional front, along with diet, but nothing else can take the place of energy work. A good energy healer doesn’t have to know about psychiatric meds per se. So I encourage people to look for someone who knows what they are doing with energy as an adjunct to other self-care like diet and meditation. Also the nice thing is you can learn to do it for yourself with practice and my doctor is teaching me. You don’t have to remain dependent on anyone forever—if nothing else this is a lesson in self-empowerment.
So in spite of a hellish time at home. And I might add, I’m far from happy all the time—a lot of difficult crap has come my way of late. I have many ups and downs. But I’m out of bed EVERY day and I can do whatever I want pretty much. Yesterday I worked a good eight hours packing.
I still have severe noise sensitivity and sometimes my tolerance for stimulation stops me in my tracks, but I do feel like I have a life again and I can live it.
I haven’t done the math but I suppose I’ll be off all my meds in a matter of months. I was thinking it might be another 3 years at the beginning of the year.
And I have a new life waiting for me in my dream house. So much to be grateful for. And thank you all of my readers because you all have played an important role in my not giving up. I have an audience and peers rooting me on and that really helps me.
I send blessings from the universe to all of you tonight! This is a spiritual journey as much as anything else!