I wrote the below thoughts to someone who wrote to me seeking guidance. All I can ever do in response to such queries is share what worked for me. The truth is I do not know what you need to do. That is for you to discover. I know that my not writing for this website anymore has impacted some of you and so for the time being when I write something in some other setting that might be helpful I’ll share it here too though I continue to not do dedicated writing for this site. I need the energy and space in other areas of my life now. Please remember that you can always visit the drop-down menus at the top of the page and visit the archives. There is a lot of information already stored here.
So below is how I responded to someone who wrote to me who was feeling very stuck in the typical despair of protracted withdrawal syndrome. I know it well:
note: I’m talking about both emotional and physical pain and sensations here….not one of the other.
I did one thing that led me out of the sort of darkness you are now describing. I was also bedridden, couldn’t sit upright and was non-verbal. I could only communicate via typing most of the time.
The one, perhaps most foundational, thing I did was practice feeling what I was feeling. Since that was overwhelming and insane amounts of pain that meant 30 seconds at a time at first and slowly slowly practicing BEING WITH WHAT IS…what is was a ton of pain and agony…what is was a ton of fear keeping me from feeling the agony. The practice was to ALLOW. No one can really show another how to do that…we need to simply start practicing and finding out what it means for us. Once I started to pay attention and be curious about what I was experiencing I started…slowly, slowly finding that somewhere deep inside me I knew exactly what to do and that if I paid attention I had all I needed within to get well.
We all find out how to do that on our own…in the end…we are guided to those who can help us, to foods that will heal us, to movement that will nourish us…etc etc…there is a sharp learning curve when our nervous systems are shot to hell and so we just keep going. You’ve already said enough so I know you have what it takes…just put one foot in front of the other and start paying attention and ALLOWING. We need only to allow. This is it. This is reality. Allow it.
if you’ve not seen this video it might help:
This might give you some ideas of how to get started: Life as a meditation: my contemplative adventure
Also see the It Gets Better series and Feel the Feeling
*it is potentially dangerous to come off medications without careful planning. Please be sure to be well educated before undertaking any sort of discontinuation of medications. If your MD agrees to help you do so, do not assume they know how to do it well even if they claim to have experience. They are generally not trained in discontinuation and may not know how to recognize withdrawal issues. A lot of withdrawal issues are misdiagnosed to be psychiatric problems. This is why it’s good to educate oneself and find a doctor who is willing to learn with you as your partner in care. Really all doctors should always be willing to do this as we are all individuals and need to be treated as such. See: Psychiatric drug withdrawal and protracted withdrawal syndrome round-up
For a multitude of ideas about how to create a life filled with safe alternatives to psychiatric drugs visit the drop-down menus at the top of this page.