Among the multitude of dualities we struggle with, the most persistent is perhaps the struggle to impose order on disorder — control on the uncontrollable…
Is anyone not insane?
Chronic illness and pharmaceutical injury…what is it?
This is my experience after what, at this point, amounts to thousands of hours of mindful presence with the chaos in my body. One learns when one focuses attention. One learns a whole lot. That is meditation. Focused attention. So, my experience of chronic illness: Chronic illness is the body saying no to the toxic… Continue Reading →
A story about the body and coming to know the inner asshole too…
This isn’t a story in the usual sense. this is about what is happening in my body and how it affects everything else. It is what is happening. …
The numinous frontier…
Emanations. *** …our entire society loves to dissociate because it’s painful to be here not knowing what the heck is going on. Dissociation is a legitimate coping mechanism but coming to consciousness requires understanding when we do it — at the very least. And heck yeah, I feel like an alien too…most of us do…hence… Continue Reading →
Gluten, dairy etc: Adding food back after elimination diets
I was on elimination diets for a long time and needed to be in order to quiet down the chaos in my body. I now know more than when I started and hope that the general method of learning to listen is helpful to others since I know the details will be different for everyone. Recently I went through a stint of eating lots of gluten and cheese as I add many different foods I avoided for many years back into my diet. I jokingly call it “retoxification.” …
Meditation on death, impermanence and post traumatic stress
Holding, holding, holding…feel the holding, wrapped up with anger, resistance, fear….FEEL it, feel it, feel it… and let it be…all things pass…recognizing and allowing seems to help it move… When post traumatic stress is leaving the body it brings up all manner of feelings that have been locked in. If I’m not carefully mindful it’s… Continue Reading →
All there is, is nature. To nature I surrender.
All there is, is nature. To nature I surrender. *** Sometimes being overwhelmed is the only way through. *** We’re all profoundly unique and complex and it’s really, just the lack of understanding that fact alone, that makes western medicine so dangerous for the sensitive among us. We must be met as individuals and not… Continue Reading →
Ecstatic dance today!
dancing madly this morning…the above is my garb — essentially barefoot in my pajamas with headphones attached to my head with a headband … I’m listening to the brilliant dj-ing of Robert Kochka Jr danced this first at an Asheville Movement Collective Wave more than a year ago– find his waves on soundcloud… was gonna share the one I… Continue Reading →
empathy, awareness of the body, SNRI withdrawal and self-inquiry…(collected brief thoughts on various things)
sometimes I feel as powerful as I feel helpless other times. I felt somewhat helpless when I first mused about the ridiculousness of academics and scientists thinking they’re onto something brand new when we’ve known some of this stuff for many years. Today I feel powerful BECAUSE I’ve known this stuff for so many years and I continue to heal. As I continue to heal what I know becomes embodied. …
“Change your thinking, change your life.” ha ha – our mind is a wild monkey gym
“Change your thinking, change your life.” — that’s a common message and mantra in our new age soaked modern world. Let’s unpack it. There may be some truth to this statement but it’s also far more complex than most people understand.
Anyone who has done any amount of serious meditation will have come to know that we don’t control our thoughts. We don’t control our thoughts or our feelings. Of course, that doesn’t stop us from trying! …
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