I took my four day road trip with my mom. I am exhausted.
While meeting my doctor was truly wonderful and exciting, being with my mom 24 hours a day (literally) was an extremely difficult ordeal. I need to sort out all the emotional stuff that has surfaced over the last several days.
As I’ve said many times, as I come off the drugs my emotions, blunted for nearly 2 decades are resurfacing. They come at me raw and intensely.
Though my mother is a kind woman, she also was an ineffective mother when I was young. She kept us in a dangerous emotional and physical hell-hole with my father. She did this because she has no sense of self. There is much reason to find compassion for her, but I’m still processing my pain. She still has no sense of self and when this is manifested in her behavior on a daily and minute by minute basis it is a major trigger for me.
So I need to process what I’ve been through in the last several days. Mom is still here and I need to call her and tell her to come on over from her hotel. I need to spend one last day with her and tomorrow she goes home. I hope to have time to return to the blog with more regularity and something of interest to say by tomorrow, but I am truly profoundly spent.
I will be around to answer comments. And hope to get back to putting up educational or interesting content within the next 48 hours.