Becoming conscious is risky business

This is what psych drugs did to me: they operated as a chemical strait-jacket for all the years of wounding that brought about emotional collapse. Then, when the drugs were removed, not only was the chemical strait-jacket removed, but they’d destroyed all natural capacities to cope. In this way the psych drugs had gravely exacerbated the original problem which was simply grave emotional neglect from birth.

In this world of violent conditioning of the self we’re all emotionally abused. Some of us have bodies that are more sensitive than others.

When people are sensitive and they get labeled mentally ill…the force of all of society believing it’s an illness is projected onto us…If we don’t come to understand the actual toxic force of this it will kill us. That is the tragic truth. And it’s no small thing to do that. When all of society projects the belief that ugly, intractable uncontrollable forces are making us sick…well, no surprise…we get sick…

To allow that toxic shit to flow through us once we accept the label of mentally ill, is again, no small thing..most of us cannot do it

Tricky part is that adamantly refusing the label (aggressively denying our differences) is also problematic.

Attachment/aversion issue…Two sides of the same coin to actively fight against the label or to totally accept it…we must flow with both sides to see clearly…stepping outside of the dualism of the whole conundrum…otherwise we are buffeted to and fro.

this is the double bind writ large unto our bodies…

Becoming conscious of all this stuff, can in the short term, actually put us at greater risk, not less.

There is no safety…there is only the law of the jungle and we’re in it…surrender to the jungle. The jungle will then hold us like a mama…

Dance in the jungle like every other animal…we’ve forgotten the dance of the animal…


This was (mostly) inspired by my grappling with the death of Michael Stone, Buddhist Teacher. 



*it is potentially dangerous to come off medications without careful planning. Please be sure to be well educated before undertaking any sort of discontinuation of medications. If your MD agrees to help you do so, do not assume they know how to do it well even if they claim to have experience. They are generally not trained in discontinuation and may not know how to recognize withdrawal issues. A lot of withdrawal issues are misdiagnosed to be psychiatric problems. This is why it’s good to educate oneself and find a doctor who is willing to learn with you as your partner in care.  Really all doctors should always be willing to do this as we are all individuals and need to be treated as such. See: Psychiatric drug withdrawal and protracted withdrawal syndrome round-up

It’s become clear to me that whenever it’s possible that it’s helpful for folks who’ve not begun withdrawal and have the time to consider a carefully thought out plan to attempt to bring greater well-being to your body before starting the withdrawal. That means learning how to profoundly nourish your body/mind and spirit prior to beginning a withdrawal. For suggestions on how to go about doing that check the drop-down menus on this blog for ideas. Anything that helps you learn how to live well can be part of your plan. That plan will look different for everyone as we learn to follow our hearts and find our own unique paths in the world. Things to begin considering are diet, exercise and movement, meditation/contemplation etc. Paying attention to all these things as you do them helps too. The body will start letting us know what it needs as we learn to pay attention. 

For a multitude of ideas about how to create a life filled with safe alternatives to psychiatric drugs visit the drop-down menus at the top of this page. 

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2 thoughts on “Becoming conscious is risky business

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  1. Monica’s posts are so eloquently affirming for me, trapped in my own mind by the chemical straight jacket drugs, and emerging to a societally enforced paradoxical “nightmare,” finding former (body and brain/mind) foundations severely damaged; hardly the promoted and purported intent of our former doctors and their alliance with their pill dispensaries. She elucidates one of
    the major complexities of Complex PTSD (“attachment/aversion issue”), congruent with the toxic carnage imposed on us, while we struggle for our limbic survival in a world of minds closed to the truth of its own salvation.

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