I know you all want to know more. I too want to know more and that is why I say nothing. It is too frightening to jump to conclusions. I hope that what seems to be an exceedingly positive development will continue to hold such promise. I’ve consistently felt better, but I still have bad days. My bad days now are almost like my average days before. Yesterday after running around busy as all get out with people I’m meeting in the withdrawal community who happen to either live here or be visiting conveniently at the same time I’m here I crashed and had a really nasty afternoon. But it was only the afternoon and I had overdone it—it was terribly exciting to meet people who care about this as much as I do and who want to help people find this information if they want it. So I curled up in CNS pain yesterday for a while.
Today I was again very well.
I guess I’m just waiting. I don’t have anything to say because I don’t know what to think. My doctor says it will be like a few steps forward a few steps back for awhile. My body needs to heal while I continue to injure it with withdrawals. I still have a lot of work to do.
One of the tricky things that takes time to get results from is the hypoglycemic diet I’ve been put on. I’m severely hypoglycemic and I’ve known it for a long time. Really I’ve suspected it for a long time and it’s been confirmed. I need to eat every two hours which is no small feat. It takes an extraordinary amount of planning. But it’s already very noticeable. Before I would go five hours and start having meltdowns before I ate. It was so obvious but I didn’t control it. Now after a couple hours go by I can feel I start to feel funky. After three to six months my metabolic process should be much improved and my over all health will improve. Protein and veggies are most important with some whole grains and fruit. I find that I do best with meat and fish as much as I’d like to be a vegetarian in principle. I go as humane as possible when it comes to animals. Organic free range animals.
I keep nuts and snow peas on me at all times. At meal times I eat the meat and fish. Eggs work good too. Plain yogurt and kefir I also use for snacks but don’t find it does the meat trick. Legumes are okay some of the time as long as I have some meat during the day as well.
I’m discovering a lot about my body.
As far as the supplementation goes—it’s pretty over the top, but most of it will be cut out once the withdrawals are over and some will be cut out sooner once imbalances in nutrients are corrected.
Okay, I’ve said more than I expected. I hope I can give more substantive information sometime soon. I feel like I’m transitioning and that my life is changing in some deep sort of way, but maybe I’m mildly delusional. It feels like my life has purpose it didn’t have before. I don’t want to lose credibility if I’m all wrong. So I bare with my insecurities here and we will all see what pans out together. I keep wondering if it will all cave when I get back home. I’m happy here because I’m with my friends and in the area I spent my life in—my childhood and most of my adult life was spent here. But I miss my other home too, where my husband and pets are. My little own private space. It’s hard living out of suitcases in other people’s homes. I feel like I belong nowhere. Neither place is entirely home.
And so I deal with that existential angst as well. Life is never simple and yet I have been happy much of the time for days on end now.