Mostly useless drivel on my youtube channel but D. Bunker made me think of sharing it. It shows a range of my experience from December through February. Frankly, videos take a lot of energy to make and I don’t usually have enough. The “happy” videos were grossly exhausting. I told Ana today, who was fooled by how chipper I seemed, that this is an invisible illness and I can look good if I take a shower, put on a bit of make-up and smile. No one knows a thing quite often.
Of course the last time I went to our health food buffet I curled up on the bench in a booth while Paul got our food. I didn’t care if I looked homeless taking a nap. At some point I just say fuck it and I’m glad I’m not in my house even if it means looking like a homeless person curled up on a bench.
Frankly, they’ve got to lie down somewhere too. There is no shame in being real.