The term codependency as it is commonly used is problematic. We are a species that relies on and survives because of interdependence on one another. In a relationship with two people stripped away from the extended family codependency is absolutely normal and healthy. The issue is awareness. Are we aware of how we impact one another? We all have needs and sometimes one partner has far greater needs than the other. This does not make for an inherently unhealthy relationship. It is a reality that these things happen. Awareness makes the difference and both partners need to be aware and willing to grow and come to new and deeper understandings together.
I have no interest in being in a relathionship that doesn’t have HEALTHY codependence. Partnership is about helping one another out. Everyone has rough patches in every relationship. If one is not aware they might throw away something good.
Making codependence a pathologizing term suggests difficult situations cannot be transformed while they often can. When they cannot be changed or are dangerously destructive we should move along as necessary. It does seem however that a lot of people don’t really understand the nature of commitment which is always hard for everyone some of the time no matter how good the relationship is.
Blanket discard culture is not healthy and there seems to often be a move for abandoning all difficult relationships in a lot of circles these days. When we go through rough patches together and grow we find the fruits of commitment. That sometimes simply takes faith!