The shocking science about the long-term effects of corporal punishment, essential viewing for every parent!
And a related quote about child-rearing in general by John Holt:
The idea of painless, nonthreatening coercion is an illusion. Fear is the inseparable companion of coercion, and its inescapable consequence. If you think it your duty to make children do what you want, whether they will or not, then it follows inexorably that you must make them afraid of what will happen to them if they don’t do what you want. You can do this in the old-fashioned way, openly and avowedly, with the threat of harsh words, infringement of liberty, or physical punishment. Or you can do it in the modern way, subtly, smoothly, quietly, by withholding the acceptance and approval which you and others have trained the children to depend on; or by making them feel that some retribution awaits them in the future, too vague to imagine but too implacable to escape. (from How Children Fail)
We harm children in lots of ways we’ve not thought about. See: Letting babies “cry it out” — the first experience of abuse for many children
Childhood trauma is strongly associated with mental illness. We can, at the very least, learn to stop inadvertently hurting our children.
● Generational pain (yes, we get it from our parents and we pass it on…we’re all in this together. We will not be perfect but we can choose to minimize and change what gets passed on)