Happy Birthday dear dear brother (in memorium)

My brother died a year and a half ago due to complications related to the treatment of his cancer. I left this comment (edited) on another blog the other day:

My brother died of cancer almost a year and a half ago. I associate Easter with him as well because his birthday is on April 15th and it occasionally falls on Easter. The year I was married on April 14th, my brother’s birthday and Easter both were on the following day.

And so my wedding anniversary too is caught up in my memory of my brother’s life and death. Many things bring back the dead…

Yes, Robert often comes back to me. In dreams and in my thoughts and on his birthday and the anniversary of his death. I wear his clothes, too. They comfort me. I am in fact in one of his fleece zip-up jackets right now.

I love you dear brother. You are with me always.

15 thoughts on “Happy Birthday dear dear brother (in memorium)

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  1. Dearest Gianna,

    I am so sorry I missed this…unlike Dr. Bremmer, I don’t have a good excuse other than I am currently in the worst depression I have had since 95 or 96. I just haven’t even had the energy or site to log on the computer. I am sorry I am still trying to play catch up with all my favorite bloggers…..

    I am sorry about Robert passing, i know how close you were to him. But I really do feel that people don’t really die- they stay in our hearts and heads, in our memories and dreams. So they are still there and are there as long as we are.

    Keep that fleece jacket out of the cat’s reach.

    Sending you lotws of love and good thoughts,

    Susan S.

  2. Little late to this post, have been out of country last few weeks. When my mom died (suddenly) when I was four and a half I had a winnie the pooh bear that she was making for me that she didn’t get the chance to put the eyes on. Growing up we didn’t have a funeral, pictures, things to remember or even a grave stone (I had to provide that myself last year) and I don’t know what happened to that bear, but as an adult I learned that grieving is a natural and necessary process and sharing in a community is part of that. That is why we have funerals. So after not talking about it for 43 years I talk about it now to anyone who will listen, and kudos to you for sharing and remembering your brother. I believe the spirits of our loved ones are real and stay whereever their loved ones remain on this earth. 🙂

  3. hi Sloopy…He knew I was writing I suppose, but my blog was young when he died. And I never shared it with him.

    He did however believe in me and always did. In a way no one else in my family ever has. He could SEE me.

    I’m so sorry about your mom…that must have been a horrible shock for it to go so quickly. It’s hard to know what’s less painful…my brother’s illness spread out for 4 years with my sister the doctor constantly reminding us that HE WOULD DIE. It was an ugly cloud over my head, but I also got to spend a lot of time with him in a very purposeful fashion…which would not have been possible had he died really quickly…ugh…it’s all hard…this dying thing.

    My step-father who has been more of a father to me than my biological father has prostrate cancer…but hopefully he’ll be around a good long while and there is good reason to believe that he will.

    Spend beautiful days with your doggy—I do the same with my kitty since she’s 19, her life expectancy is not great either…

  4. Did your brother know you had this blog? I am sure he would be very proud of you, knowing where you have taken it today, one of the foremost sites online for people to discover how to clamber out of the drugged haze that was once their lives..

  5. My thoughts are with you. My mother died from cancer the end of September last year (only seven weeks from diagnosis), and we have just learned that our beloved Kelpie dog has cancer with an extremely poor prognosis. Molly is our ‘baby’, so you can imagine the impact of such devastating news. I am learning that each day is a gift, and I am storing moments and memories. I hope that your memories, and thoughts of the special times with your brother, also give you strength and courage.
    Thinking of you at this time.

  6. Susan,
    It’s always made me sad that none of the clothes I got from him after he died smelled of him. He hadn’t worn any of it in a long time.

    But I still feel him when I wear the stuff. My husband also wear’s very nice shirt of his that makes me think of him and I get to see it on another man I love and it feels nice.

  7. Dear Gianna,
    I know how much you love(d) your brother, and my thoughts are with you today. I agree about wearing an article of clothing from someone you love. I wear a few of my mother’s jackets. And, I keep one of my mother’s scarves in a Ziplock bag. When I was going through her things, and smelled her perfume, it hit me how much comfort and bittersweet sadness the smell gave me, and I wanted to keep it for as long as possible.

    FYI…I know Robert would be so proud of you! As I remember, he was one of your greatest supporters.

    With love,

  8. You sound like you are in a better place, dear G…
    I hope it is not disrespectful of me to note that my eldest cat also shares a B/D of April 15th – she is now 20!
    To celebrate, I brought home the clippers & shaved some of the mats out of her hair – I know, I know => post pix! – but I NEVER claimed to be a decent groomer 😉

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