When I go out of the house now. I am almost completely bedbound while in the house and rarely leave my house now, though occasionally I can make short trips to the store or go for a ride in the car to look outside or whatever.
I have regained the eyes of a child. The lack of visual stimulation and being shut in my house has made the world look strangely novel when I do venture forth.
I first took note of this when I drove down south a few weeks ago for treatment. I would get out of the car, where I was laying on a futon on the floor of a mini-van, also stopping my viewing of the world. Anyway, I would get out and wander into a convenience store and use the restroom and then walk around oddly fascinated with everything on the shelves.
All the color and variety! Strangely a pleasurable experience for my deprived senses. I started making jokes about it on the drive down. Who would ever consider a convenience store all garish and what not, beautiful?? Me!
Now I notice it every time I’m in a car as I look around the natural beauty that is my home, or the rare occasions I go into a store or now, I’m actually going to a doctors office daily as I’m finally getting my IV nutrients. I soak in the view whatever it is. Faces of new people, the forest, the food display in my health food store.
There is something beautiful in the way I soak up the world with my eyes. I wish it hadn’t come to me this way but it’s like I’ve awaken to the simple wonders of the world. And the wonder that is sight. Very strange.