But alas, no. I am clearly still very ill.
In a lot of the withdrawal groups 18 months is held up as the average time those of us with heavy withdrawal syndromes can expect recovery. It has always seemed rather an arbitrary and meaningless marker to me. Many people recover fully well before that time, others don’t experience any illness at all. I’m not sure how that number came to be, but I really don’t think it means anything at all.
A good friend of mine who was at the beginning of creating benzo withdrawal support groups, who is now about 13 years out from her withdrawal took five years to start feeling okay. She is now fully recovered and has been for several years.
When I wrote my update the other day I wasn’t thinking about it being so close to August 9, today, the 18 month mark of having completed my six year plus withdrawal from 6 psychiatric drugs. If you missed that update that is pretty much a good 18 month update post. Read it here: Sleep, insomnia and iatrogenic injury – an update.
I’ve been in an acutely ill phase lately, but these come and go just like the more improved states do too.
Overall, I continue to see improvement as I say at the end of that post. It’s just damn slow and lately things have actually been worse being that this is all about life being rather roller coasterish and while the overall trajectory may be toward wellness the dips can still be quite low and frighteningly difficult to get through.
The moments of joy and the ability to appreciate life that was unleashed only once off the most mind numbing drugs make up for it all for I can often have these moments even while in the lowest dips of the roller coaster. The full spectrum of emotion allows me to be grateful to be alive and drug free. Yes. Even if my body is still trying to figure out how to be healthy in the aftermath of being on neurotoxins for over two decades.
I also continue to learn how to live as best as possible while sick. This is my life and I’m going to do it as best I can. I wrote, Living well while being sick at the 12 month anniversary mark.