Let us not be control freaks. Our experience is not anyone else’s.

I don’t have a very visible social media presence anymore. It got to be too much because so many people need help and there is simply not enough people who understand what we are going through when we’re drug injured. I do understand and people know that so I get approached a whole lot. I have always wished I could help more people but in the interest of taking care of myself I generally need to set up boundaries and so I’ve done that by not having a very visible presence.

I still frequent various health oriented groups in different corners of the internet however. Sometimes people I don’t know at all recognize me and are familiar with this site. This happened the other day and when I mentioned I was taking 5HTP in the context of a health oriented thread,  this person completely freaked out on me because she imagined she knew what I needed based on the fact that she’s read my site.

5HTP, among other things, raises serotonin. This fact was scandalous to her given she knows that once upon a time I was on an antidepressant and it made me sick as hell. I get it — to some degree. I sure as hell didn’t tolerate 5HTP or any sort of nutriceutical or really any herbs or supplements at all for a long time. We become very sensitive. But she was still totally out of line.

She drew the conclusion that 5HTP was the same as an SSRI antidepressant which is simply untrue. They work in completely different ways and SSRIs are neurotoxic and 5HTP is not. Secondly I wasn’t even using the 5HTP for “depression” (whatever that is) – see: Rethinking Depression  — I was using it for my gut. For motility. Yes, it helps with motility and constipation. There is a ton of serotonin in a healthy gut and 5HTP raises serotonin. It’s been a very helpful supplement for that. I recently wrote about my adventures with motility and further healing of the gut by using yoga and acupressure here. Thirdly I don’t use any supplement on an ongoing permanent basis…I’m healing. Things are all moving targets as I get better. My goal is to be on nothing but good food and I’m getting there slowly. For now I still use supplements on occasion now that I can.

*of note for those who might be wondering: – I’ve noticed nothing mood oriented as a side-effect of the 5HTP. It does nothing good or bad for my mood.

I actually had to block this woman she was so rude and out of control — “yelling” at me about anyone with MY HISTORY (yes she capitalized it) should never, ever take 5HTP. I was really wishing for my anonymity at that moment.  Some people reading this site have a way of thinking they know me…and when they’re control freaks it means they come at me much like a psychiatrist telling me what I should and should not do for my healing. That’s pretty sad. It really makes me think of the time a psychiatrist (literally) screamed at me that if I didn’t take drugs for the rest of my life I would die. (and sadly, we know the drugs came close to killing me, instead). Same control freak energy. In both people. Yup. One had a lot more power than the other, but the energy is the same.

This led me to contemplate why people who’ve been drugged damaged by doctors because they were told what to do — turn into the same sort of nasty control freaks telling others what to do. Being abused and oppressed seems sadly contagious and those who’ve been harmed will turn around and do it to others. It’s a human phenomena, for sure. Can happen in a lot of different contexts. Still, this is why I’ve written many pieces about the importance of choice…even with drugs and medications that have harmed us…we have no right to tell others how to take care of themselves. See: Consent and Choice, Psychiatric Drugs  Otherwise, trying to control others is coercive and violent. People have a right to have a different opinion than we do about drugs (or supplements or food or whatever.)

If and when folks want info based on my experience and study, I will happily share, otherwise how they choose to manage their bodies is their business, not mine. I make this a very conscious practice to never impose what I think on another. I may not be perfect at it but I sure as hell won’t be found screaming at someone about a supplement they should or should not take.

And the other thing about healing is that if we’re getting better homeostasis is not possible. When one is on a radically healing path…healing is, by necessity, constant change. And that means that stuff that sure as heck would have been a bad idea a few years ago (5HTP, indeed) is a wonderful medicine for me right now!! How beautiful is that? It’s because I’ve gotten so much better that it’s now helping me heal my gut.

Remember: we’re all different and there is a time and place for just about everything. We are kaleidoscopic beings — endlessly variant. And what is good for us now may not be tomorrow and we sure as heck don’t know what someone else needs even if on some superficial level we think we have a lot in common with them. Context is always different for any two human beings.


*it is potentially dangerous to come off medications without careful planning. Please be sure to be well educated before undertaking any sort of discontinuation of medications. If your MD agrees to help you do so, do not assume they know how to do it well even if they claim to have experience. They are generally not trained in discontinuation and may not know how to recognize withdrawal issues. A lot of withdrawal issues are misdiagnosed to be psychiatric problems. This is why it’s good to educate oneself and find a doctor who is willing to learn with you as your partner in care.  Really all doctors should always be willing to do this as we are all individuals and need to be treated as such. See: Psychiatric drug withdrawal and protracted withdrawal syndrome round-up

It’s become clear to me that whenever it’s possible that it’s helpful for folks who’ve not begun withdrawal and have the time to consider a carefully thought out plan to attempt to bring greater well-being to your body before starting the withdrawal. That means learning how to profoundly nourish your body/mind and spirit prior to beginning a withdrawal. For suggestions on how to go about doing that check the drop-down menus on this blog for ideas. Anything that helps you learn how to live well can be part of your plan. That plan will look different for everyone as we learn to follow our hearts and find our own unique paths in the world. Things to begin considering are diet, exercise and movement, meditation/contemplation etc. Paying attention to all these things as you do them helps too. The body will start letting us know what it needs as we learn to pay attention. 

For a multitude of ideas about how to create a life filled with safe alternatives to psychiatric drugs visit the drop-down menus at the top of this page. 

Support Beyond Meds. Enter Amazon via a link from this blog and do the shopping you’d be doing anyway. No need to purchase the book the link takes you to or make a donation with PayPal. Thank you!


5 thoughts on “Let us not be control freaks. Our experience is not anyone else’s.

  1. I think that even a lot of support groups can be guilty of that. I’ve seen many people speak very negatively about all antidepressants, but sometimes people benefit from antidepressants, or at least benefit from them for a while. So, if someone is living a pretty decent life on an anti-depressant and is doing reasonably well, I don’t really see that a narrative about all psych drugs being bad can actually help them. It may even cause a knee-jerk reaction and make people stop their antidepressant cold-turkey, leading to pretty bad situations. I’d like to see people give their own stories why such and such psych meds are bad for them. Just hearing the blanket statements that someone should be on psych meds or off psych meds without the reasons why do not really help anyone.


    1. I must admit that I see no value in any “psychiatric type drug” and sometimes I wish they would be banned or illegal. I think they are contributing in dangerous ways to our world, and the people who live here. However, I am no fool. For one thing if these drugs were illegal, some people would find ways to get them. They are “mind-altering drugs.” Additionally, they are “body, spirit, and soul altering drugs.” In my opinion, they steal who you are in so many ways.
      Yet, I know it would be disadvantageous or fruitless to advise or tell anyone to take or not to take a drug. Each one of us has free will. Each one of us has our own unique path to trod or follow. I also grew up on the old Star Trek reruns and passionately adhere to not only non-interference in another nation; but, also in the affairs of another human being; no matter how much I must “bite my tongue.” Sometimes, I just must “cut the person” out of my life to “save my own life” or someone else’s. To open our mouth and say something could, if it would be in the best interest of the person deter them from ever doing what is uniquely right for them.


  2. “Context is always different for any two human beings.” I really like the way you said this. Thank you for this important reminder. ❤


    1. I think if we would try to control others and tell them what to do; our own experiences are negated and in the end they will not listen to us or take us seriously. That would undermine everything that has happened to us in so many ways and our lives, our struggles and our success in overcoming these struggles.


  3. I agree with what you write; however, there is not only a human instinct to control; but, also a human instinct to prevent suffering as we have suffered. Probably, when we encounter, both are at play. The control part is the most insidious.
    As for me, I had become email “pen pals” of someone I had met a church bazaar. I did not hear from her for maybe six or more weeks. When she finally emailed me; she apologized and said that she had been sick for six weeks because she was trying to get adjusted to a medication (drug) for her “bi-polar disorder.” I wanted to email her, “STOP taking that stuff!” But, I knew she wouldn’t probably understand and I might give myself away; when I was not yet ready. So, I did not respond and deleted from her emails.
    I know each one of us wants to interfere in another person’s suffering to some extent. It is usually neither good for them or us. I do not mean to interject religion here; but, I just think it is not our place to interfere (on the whole) with another’s ;life, etc. I believe our usual prayer should be “Thy will be done” and let God; however we see “Him” take care of it. It is hard for many to do. So many want to play God. Psychiatrists and the Medical Community, etc. et. all are rife with it and also other areas of our public and private lives.


Comments are closed.

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: