I get so happy doing simple errands

I think it’s undeniable at this point. I have been getting progressively better since I started with my new orthomolecular/holistic/energy worker psychiatrist. The improvement began a week into my work with her and has been a constant trend towards better.. Granted, I have set backs—days in which I still spend the majority of time in bed, but more and more now I can go out for a few hours and not fall apart as a result of it.

Today I’m in town. I am still spending 2-4 days in town in my tiny one room cottage/shack/hovel. I like doing this for several reasons. One–I must because I don’t feel safe driving to town and back to my house in the country. My husband has been bringing me back and forth in the evenings a few days apart, because he can’t take me to appointments due to his work schedule, so I need to be here. Secondly, I like being here because when I’m well enough I can go out and actually have somewhere to go unlike in the boonies where our house is so isolated. Also I like being alone from time to time. A house full of demanding pets can get overwhelming in my sensitive state. And sometimes even my supportive kind husband is too much for my over-sensitivity and I just like being alone.

My little cottage is very dark now that spring has arrived. I got here in the winter when there were no leaves on the trees and it was quite bright. But now, because I’m basically in the woods (yes, even though I’m in town) and the leaves are all out the cottage is very dark. I need to have lights on all day. So today I decided I better get some full spectrum light bulbs. Those are the kind of lights they put in light boxes for depression or seasonal affective disorder.

I went to Lowes. And as I drove there I was just so happy to be able to leave the house and run an errand by myself. Really happy. This is a relatively frequent occurrence now. After being basically bedridden from toxicity and some sort of drug withdrawal syndrome I can leave the house and go get light bulbs. Joy!!

So I look at what I’m doing and feel pretty safe assuming it’s my new doctor helping me. She’s added a few supplements and taken a couple away, but for the most part things are not drastically changed in that department, although she felt strongly that the changes she made were important.

Then there is the energy work which has truly taken a leap of faith for me, but at this point I’m pretty sure it’s the most powerful part of our work together. Oddly enough each time we do it I sort of have a regression into feeling really sick and take to bed for a day or two or three, but each time out I am better and better. I don’t know why I get sick when we do it. She says some of her patients have that reaction and others feel a surge of positive energy for a bit. She does not understand exactly what causes my malaise post energy work, but has seen it often enough and watched the improvement that comes in spite of the small set-backs that she figures it is some sort of healing crisis. The body feels worse while it’s healing.

Whatever, I’m not going to complain. I’m getting better.

And tonight I’ll be down to .60 mg of Risperdal—and just to remind you the high was 11 mg, almost twice the usual maximum dose! It’s an awesome feeling to be tapering again because for a while there I was really wondering if I would ever feel well enough to continue.

13 thoughts on “I get so happy doing simple errands

  1. barbou,
    I enjoyed reading your comment. good job. spread the word. blog about it if you don’t already


  2. barbou,
    thanks so much for stopping by and telling us your story. there are many people who have found the right combination of treatment, like you, but too few of them speak up…

    thanks so much…your story is inspiring


  3. I can relate to your situation;almost 3 years ago; during a very disruptive period in my life,I was diagnosed “bipolar”.The local toximolacular psychiatrist prescribed some horrid drugs,the effects of which were worse than enduring the ravishes of bipolar episodes.When I refused to continue the medications he washed his hands of me saying there was nothing that could be done for me.Fortunately I didn’t believe him and set out to learn more of this dis-ease and its treatment.Fortunately I came across the writings of Hoffer,Pfeiffer,Pauling et al and the wondrous world of Orthomolecular Psychiatry and Medicine.Through the usage of
    library books and the internet I was able to develop a treatment protocol that has been very effective in my recovery.Other indispensable facets of my program are;quitting smoking tobacco and pot and quitting alcohol ,I see these previous behaviors as uninformed self medication in response to my life long illness.A daily trip to the gym;weekly visits to a talk therapist for maintenance,feedback and support .Daily meditation.Aspects of cognitive behavioral therapy.And not least of all the healing comfort of the companionship of my dog and cat.My best wishes to you on your recovery,I know you have chosen an excellent path.


  4. G ~ I’m so glad you have such a supportive husband. I don’t know many husbands who would be willing to do what your husband does.


  5. I have a dog “Indy” that I love to death but the times he gets on my nerves seem to be increasing. I’ll be glad when I can get a decent adjustment on my meds. Still looking for a Dr. that can see me before August. I’m glad your doing better.


  6. I’ve got my pets four days a week…and I’m always happy to be around them…

    the thing is I’m sometimes a raw nerve…any stimulation that I can’t control can be too much…

    It’s hard to explain…

    My pets have been my whole life for years before I married…this is so hard to explain. I love them very much.


  7. Glad to hear about lightbulb expeditions & other tales of normal everyday life…But I for one couldn’t do without my “housefull of demanding pets”; their care at least demands that I do “SOMETHING” on those bad days…


  8. I come to the city to BE with people too!! My house with my husband where I stay 4 days of the week is truly isolated 40 minutes from the city….now I can bounce to a coffee shop, health food store, or Lowes and see people…that is really why I’m in town…but I like being in my own space too. But in this instance having my own space also means being close too people and that is the real reason I got it…so we’re more alike than you think.

    We’re planning on selling the house in the country and buying one in town…can’t be soon enough for me, because I do miss being home too…

    I also need to be in town because I still don’t feel safe driving from my home to to town…my husband drives me back and forth…I drive 5 – 10 minutes around town…that feels safe.

    No post on energy work…I’ve been purposely vague about it…maybe someday I’ll write more…


  9. Hi Gianna,
    Glad you are doing better. Congrats on getting that low on the Risperidal.

    I had a terrible depression when I lived in the woods and I was isolated. (It was the woods in the city in a quiet neighborhood.) Lot’s of people envied me, but I was going nuts. I have to be close to people.

    I used up so much gas running around during that time period. I now feel bad about how much gas and carbon I must have put into the air!

    If I can’t get out and meet people, I am not happy. Unlike you, I would hate a place to myself. I spent so many years so very lonely. I found a direct correlation to my mood and my ability to visit with people….which to me would point that the depression wasn’t entirely a bio-chemical defect.

    Forgive me if I missed a post about the energy work. What is that?


  10. You are sounding undeniably better…I’m so happy for you, and also inspired by your experience.


  11. Gianna,

    I am happy doing small things too – little things sometimes – like heading out to the store, or taking a walk….

    My favorite thing is to go watch the planes land at a nearby airport at night – by myself. I listen to music, and then afterwards, I turn the radio off and meditate – think of my friends – keep them in my thoughts and prayers….

    Small thing – simple, but I look forward to doing it every night. Alone time – quiet time….

    Glad you’ve been enjoying getting out, and happy that you’re beginning to feel better!

    Your friend,



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