Among meditation teachers I have met and worked with in person, Jack Kornfield is perhaps my most influential meditation teacher though he was not my first. I read his book A Path with Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life, years before I met him. He is a kind and loving, gentle man.
I was lucky enough to live about 5 miles from Spirit Rock his meditation center for a couple of years so I used to see him weekly when he was not traveling and I also did a couple of short retreats with him.
Below I have reprinted one form of meditation that he teaches. The text is from the book I mention, A Path with Heart. This is a form of meditation that some practitioners practice for years. It is sometimes the only meditation one practices. The ultimate form is when you can practice this meditation with those who have hurt you or those that you would otherwise hate and transform all those feelings to love. It can be a life-time discipline, as you can imagine.
Loving-Kindness Meditation
Begin by repeating the following phrases over and over for 15-20 minutes once or twice daily in a quite place for several months. At first this meditation may feel mechanical or awkward or even bring up the opposite feelings of irritation and anger. If this happens, itis especially important to be patient and kind toward yourself, allowing whatever arises to be received in a spirit of friendliness and kind affection. In its own time, even in the face of inner difficulties, loving- kindness will develop.
Sit in a comfortable fashion. Let your body relax and be at rest. As best you can, let your mind be quiet, letting go of plans and preoccupations. Then begin to recite inwardly the following phrases directed to yourself. You begin with yourself because without loving yourself it is almost impossible to love others.
May I be filled with loving-kindess
May I be well
May I be peaceful and at ease
May I be happy
As you say the phrases, you may also wish to use the image from the Buddha’s instructions: picture yourself as a young and beloved child, or sense yourself as you are now, held in the heart of loving-kindness. Repeat the phrases again and again, letting the feelings permeate your body and mind.Practice this meditation repeatedly for a number of weeks until the sense of loving-kindness for yourself grows.
When you feel ready, in the same meditation period you can gradually expand the focus of your loving-kindness to include others. After yourself, choose a benefactor, someone in your life who has truly cared for you. Picture them and carefully recite the same phrases: May he/she be filled with loving- kindness and so forth. When loving-kindess for your benefactor has developed, begin to include other people you love in the meditation, picturing them and reciting the same phrases, evoking a sense of loving-kindness for them.
After this, you can gradually begin to include others: friends, community members, neighbours, people everywhere, animals, the whole earth, and all beings. Then you can even experiment with including the most difficult people in your life, wishing that they, too, be filled with loving-kindess and peace. With some practice a steady sense of loving-kindness can develop and in the course of 15 or 20 minutes you will be able to include many beings in your meditation, moving from yourself, to a benefactor and loved ones, to all beings everywhere.
Then you can learn to practice it anywhere. You can use this meditation in traffic jams, in buses and airplanes, in doctors’ waiting rooms, in a thousand other circumstances. As you silently practice this loving-kindness meditation among people, you will immediately feel a wonderful connection with them — the power of loving-kindness. It will calm your life and keep you connected to your heart.
If you like this meditation and want to learn more about this specific form of meditation practice Sharon Salzburg has a book with the title Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness which goes deeper into the discipline.
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I like this. I realize somewhere along the line of my recovery I have been telling myself some very, very negative things – I’m hopeless; I’ll never get better. I’ve been sabotaging my well-being and recovery by this. Self-awareness is the first step, but then a person has to take steps beyond that. This will be a big one for me but very, very necessary. I AM becoming a new person with a lot to look forward to and much to be discovered. I will be filled with peace and lovingkindness!