Deja-vu: I’m done with pharma, drugs, and psychiatry

Ha ha, I wrote the below post in May of last year. Some things take time to change:

I’m done with pharma, drugs, and psychiatry.

I no longer get health and mental health and psychiatry news delivered to me daily through google reader and email groups. I am much happier this way. Therefore I can no longer cover such topics in a timely fashion and don’t intend to except maybe rarely since it may on occasion still strike me as fresh. Most of it just feels old to me and indeed most of the “news” that I cover I’ve known about for years. Mainstream media has a tough time keeping up it seems and does a better job of misinforming than informing. It’s tiring and rather depressing.

The archives will remain up and I will keep posting on here as I’ve been doing for a bit but I do hope to break away from this blog altogether as it now feels like a weight holding me down that I’d like to let go of. I’m thinking about options. I may simply keep this blog going at a slower pace with an evolving and changing subject matter or start a new one that is a complete break from this one that simply reflects this new era of my life. I don’t know yet. In my life at home I’m still unable to do anything other than that which I must do to work on my rehab so I’m pulled back to this blog with some frequency that I might contribute to a broader sphere than myself and my household. This will, as I move forward, most likely also change.

As a resource for others Beyond Meds, I think, is still quite valuable and I still often share posts from the archives with people who are seeking answers to questions about the topics shared on this blog. I also still get mail regularly from people who tell me how helpful finding this blog was to them. I’m so grateful for all your comments and thank you.

I now have begun to concentrate mostly on solutions, healing and growing, and thus dwelling on the problem that psychiatry WAS in my life is just not helpful or particularly interesting anymore.  A very important part of my journey is now over. Hallelujah.

So, I still feel the same way and wrote a post the other day about my current break from mental health news feeds.  So, yes, this blog keeps me steeped in stuff I don’t actually want to be steeped in anymore. (clearly I was dragged back into exactly what I said I wanted to leave behind almost a year ago!)

I HAVE changed the frequency of posts about the politics of mental health, psychiatry and pharma and I do post more of the stuff I am wanting to embrace further, but the fact is my readers and their habits, which I can see via the stats pages of this blog, keep me going back to stuff I don’t want to post about anymore. I get lots more hits on the posts I said I wanted to leave behind!  

Granted there is still some emotional pull for me which is why I end up doing it again and again. And stats are addicting. Watching the numbers, oh yeah. But it is stuff that drags me down at this point. The fact is most of what I post about pharma or psychiatry is very, very old news for me. And it’s just not what is good for me anymore. It was all very necessary info at one time. I’m grateful I know it and I’m grateful I’ve been able to share it, but it’s not the bulk of what I want to do anymore.

So the last week or so I’ve not posted any of that stuff. But I have been posting daily still, the sorts of stuff I want to concentrate on, and lo and behold, my stats are dropping precipitously. For the first time I don’t care. Stats can become addicting and I wish to end my addiction.

So, I will continue to post what I want to post about personal growth, neuroscience, meditation and spirituality etc. until I feel well enough and have the umpf to (MAYBE, yes, just maybe) start a new blog where I can do that and leave Beyond Meds up as a resource. (check out the new pull-down menus at the very top of the page to access the archives — I’m trying to make it as accessible as a resource as possible)

I’m not shutting any doors. I still care about all the work I’ve done on this blog and I imagine there will always be ways that I continue doing that work. It will always be a part of me, but I don’t really want my focus to be the same anymore (clearly haven’t wanted it to be for a long time).

This is still in PROCESS…I know the subject matters of the past will still show up in my work routinely, but I’d prefer they be more peripheral rather than central. We’ll see how it goes…my process of change and detachment is a mystery and it seems to go in fits and starts. It’s an evolution. It’s all an evolution. With some steps forward and back as it were.  It’s additionally hard to move forward when I’m still stuck at home unable to do things I’d like to be able to do. I’m learning patience and compassion for myself too, on this journey.

Cheers!

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