Still waiting to stabilize

Traveling any distance either within a time zone or out of one has become extremely difficult for me since about 6 months into my withdrawals and increasingly so. I don’t really know why, but I stop sleeping and get all out of sorts.

I’ve pretty much been out of commission and hence my presence on the web has been almost nil. I did take a slight turn for the better the Wednesday afternoon. A slight improvement after arriving on Saturday afternoon and really suffering until then. Since Wednesday afternoon I continue to improve. The Wednesday afternoon “lift” happened after I took a B-12 shot. I’m to administer one to myself every 2 to 3 days so I just took another. It actually does seems to make a difference. B-12 is used a lot in chronic fatigue. In any case I seem to be on the mend.

I have little to say. I’m seeing the orthomolecular pdoc later this morning. We go over blood work which may or may not shed more light on how I am to be treated. In the meantime my nutrients have changed to some degree. A different multi-vitamin without copper as I told him I had tested high in copper a while back. A few other odds and ends I hadn’t been taking and several amino acids. I know the amino acids help me sleep. I’m taking L-Triptophan, DL-Phenylalaline, (as opposed to L-Phenylalaline which gave me a hyper reaction) L-Methionine, which is to help with the high histamine my last clueless orthomolecular doctor tested me for, GABA, which I’ve tried before but found out I was taking way to little, and Glutamine which I’ve taken successfully in the past. I’m tentatively optimistic that they are helping along with the B-12 as I am finally feeling human again. Of course, I’m finally adjusting to being on another coast and in another bed too. So I am patiently waiting to see if I might be able to taper again by Monday. The pdoc seems to think the aminos should minimize the sting of the taper. I’m trying not to be to expectant.

My doctor is a fascinating man who is writing a book called “The Stoned Prophets.” I know little about it so do not wish to mischaracterize it, but it seems it has to do with what some might call the squelching of spiritual emergencies. I love the name! How deeply respectful of his clients he must be to call us prophets. He is a religious man and I don’t believe he uses the term lightly.

And yes, I experience him as deeply respectful.

12 thoughts on “Still waiting to stabilize

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  1. Gianna, it looks like we have both arrived at the nutritional
    approach together. I commented awhile ago with you
    about B-12 shots. You are doing it while I haven’t yet.
    I am in recovery from schizophrenia and the
    plan is to attack the problem by addressing adrenal
    deficiencies. When I think of all the money I spent
    paying MSW’s and p-docs it makes me cringe. I
    could have engaged in anti psych drug therapy and talk
    therapy until I died and probably beyond death and never discovered the true problem with my adrenal hormones.
    Is this the chemical imbalance everyone is looking for
    but never finding? Nah, too obvious. But it is not
    something peculiar to me. It seems that
    adrenals and thyroid, accumulated infections
    along with trauma and stress are the true causes
    and effects of what is called bipolar and scz conditions.

    After years of physical exams that always came back
    negative I would always say…what the hell is wrong?
    All the while I’m watching my anxiety/depression
    get worse and eat up my life. At the same time I
    did not having the cognitive strength to zero in on
    the cause of the problem myself which resulted,
    after years and years, in what is CALLED schizophrenia.

    Anyone out there who initially finds a doctor who
    can nail and effectively treat problems like this should
    consider themselves super lucky. Basically you are
    on your own when it comes to systemic illnesses
    that mainstream medicine is unprepared to treat
    except with hit or miss anti psych drugs whose
    side effects require more drugs and on and on…
    I was “lucky”. I couldn’t physically take them long enough
    to get addicted so I non-complianced.

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  2. I’m glad you found out about the copper thing. My son went off meds and now I’m treating him and myself for Pyroluria – decreasing copper consumption is a big part of that!
    I’ve found choline really helps mania too. And inositol for anxiety/withdrawal – they are both B vitamin derivatives.
    I hopped over here from Furious Seasons blog – wishing you luck!

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  3. After browsing your latest blog (very nice, BTW), & reading comments from you & others, I’d just want to add one more thing. What I’ve learned from my research is that the folks I get my main support from firmly believe that in addition to the “everyone is different” idea, they believe as I do that there is a place at times for psychotropic drugs. During an acute crisis, “life/death” situation there is a need to calm people down & establish some stability while seeking alternative treatment. I base this on personal & professional experience.

    Like you, I too was on ADs & mood stabilizers for 20 years & making the final break was essential because I felt so bad from the SEs (from SSRIs) & wanted out. It’s taking time, but I needed to find me. It also takes resolve & an incredible amount of patience. You can do it……dfh

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  4. Wishing you the best, as you seek an alternative to SSRIs, et al. I wrote you awhile back about the TrueHope program (out of Canada) & EMPower Plus & the success I’ve had with it. It’s encouraging to hear that you’ve found a physician who is open to trying something besides drugs for those of us with BP. Just know that there are many of us out here in cyberspace doing as you are doing………we’re all searching for some relief. Also, know that the recovery phase is totally different for all, but that we share many commonalities as seen on truehope.net message boards. Good luck. dfh

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  5. Flying, and the time-difference associated with it, is a big trigger for me so I’ve stopped doing it. Traveling by car is ok if I make regular pauses and overnight stops. I noticed that train or ship seems to be the easiest way for me to make a transition.

    I’m glad you have a good doctor. They seem to be so rare these days. It’s amazing how Vitamin B’s can make such a difference, they even help with autism.

    The road is long, but with your dedication I just know it’s only a matter of time till you get there.

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  6. ha! proof that my brain is still fried—I was on my way to the doc and had an uneasy feeling, checked my calendar and alas, my appt is Monday at 11 am.

    I guess I was wishing it was today. Want to get going. In any case I’m feeling pretty good!

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