I’m not sure how much I’ll be posting. I’ve been doing strange things in my new and even more chronic state of exhaustion (not sure how more exhaustion IS possible, but it is), like going to bed at 9:30 and sleeping for 10 plus hours.
My body is really messed up. I’m on virtually no drug anymore and feel more drugged out than ever.
I don’t think I’ve heard of people like me in this stage of withdrawal sleeping so much and barely being able to keep my head up during the day.
Most people complain of insomnia. I’m just weird anyway you look at it.
We’ll see how the day progresses, but I’m hardly feeling creative at the moment and I stopped even being able to look at the computer for the most part by mid-day yesterday.
Gianna,
That’s awesome that you’re down so low on the Valium. Yeah, the benzos kick a lot of folks’ butts, mine included (and I never took any other drug).
As for sleeping and feeling tired, benzos disturb REM sleep so it seems that maybe once we get lower on the drug we’re able to finally get some normal and restorative sleep. I still have mostly insomnia, but there are some days that all I do is sleep.
You’ll heal from all of it. It just takes a little time :).
S
That’s OK – 10 hrs of sleep daily sounds like heaven to me ;-)!
Seriously, take it easy on yourself, you have had a difficult journey.
That looks like a light at the end of the tunnel to me…
I did I.V. therapy to treat Hep C. My viral load reached nearly 1million, which is dangerously high and my Nurse Practitioner recommended a liver biopsy and to begin treatment with Interferon. I declined, gratefully. Found an N.D. and started the I.V. treatments in Feb. 2008. At the time I had declined from my relatively robustly healthy self to being fatigued and unable to walk a mile. Without going into all the precipitating stressors, simply understanding they were overwhelming enough for the virus to get way ahead of me. My liver enzymes came down relatively fast, but after 4 months, my energy level was not returning as I’d expected. Further tests revealed adrenal function to be almost non-existent, glucose intolerance, insulin resistance, and some hormonal imbalances. Yeah! All very fixable stuff with attention and some diligence with supplements and diet. I had to change N.D.’s, partially financial reasons in January of this year. Found someone I am working well with and who is affordable to boot. I have not had an I.V. treatment now since Jan. 17th of this year. Each day my energy level is closer to what I was accustomed to previously. I have made some additional changes along my spiritual, mental, and emotional paths as well. I am pursuing EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), hoping to become certified in the next year or so, that I may then share this healing technique with others. Noninvasive, non-drug and therefore without side-effects, and I believe it can be taught to others so they can apply it to themselves at minimal cost. The basic training manual is downloadable for free on line.
Perhaps the most important thing I’ve learned is that healing takes time, more time than I want it to, but it still takes place.
Please try to give yourself a break. We are all so hard on ourselves! Look how far your journey has brought you and the untold numbers of individuals you have helped along the road.
I am picturing you in your yard, lying on your futon, looking at the forest. Surrounding you with Love and Light. Oh look now you are getting up from your futon and dancing with your arms open to beauty itself.
Remember you are a beautiful Woman of Power.
Bonnie
I agree – I think you are healing too. I hope so. Take care.
I think it’s a sign your body needs rest after the decades of poison… I think it’s a good thing.
There’s nothing “weird” about psychosis after ingesting hallucinogens. What’s weird is that the psychiatrists in charge of your “care” couldn’t recognize that. As my neurologist says, “They’re the ones who are delusional.”
It will pass…just listen to your body and allow it to rest. You have come a long way…the end is the most frustrating for your body and your psyche, but you will persevere.
In my experience, benzo withdrawal caused/s extreme fatigue towards the end. Insomnia occured for me at the beginning and middle of tapering, with the end or cessation of a benzo resulting in exhaustion. Because I’ve withdrawn from benzos before, (and at the moment am doing so a second time..) the arc of symptoms changes as the dose diminishes. It will be different for everyone, of course, but I would think that it is just a sign of recovery. Your body is healing.
that’s a nice and hopeful thought…at a much needed time…I’m feeling rather hopeless at the moment.
Gianna,
You are on NO drugs!!!! That’s great!
no…I’m not on NO drugs I said VIRTUALLY no drugs..
I’ve got 20 mg of Valium to go.
That is down from
84 mg Concerta
200 mg Zoloft
11 mg Risperdal
400 mg Lamictal
3 mg Klonopin = 60 mg Valium (once I did the crossover)
50 mg Seroquel
so virtually drug free I think is appropriate…but drug FREE completely NO. I wish.
The benzos are proving to be a major bitch…
I do have some hope that once I start IV therapy as an outpatient here things might speed up as I was able to get off a much bigger chunk of drug then in the past when I was getting the IV’s out of state…both inpatient and outpatient.