I want to call attention to a post written by my friend Kim at invincible summers and then I’m posting my response to her. Read her whole post here for context. It’s about trauma and brings up a lot of good issues.
My response to her first was to highlight something she wrote:
Although I was raised in a home where I felt loved but misunderstood. But, and most importantly, there were rarely any expressions or emotions allowed-we didn’t talk about anything of substance. Pretty much everything was swept under the rug. If you’ve seen the beautiful film “Ordinary People” you’ll have a better picture. I don’t blame my parents for this-I have forgiven them-they were raised this way.
And then I responded to that snippet with this this:
THIS is your trauma…it is traumatizing and inherently abusive to sweep stuff under the rug and to not take feelings seriously etc.
This is where we all go wrong. We, in general, are not cognizant of the fact that our society is deeply sick and abusive and even those we love have hurt us inadvertently. It’s appropriate to have forgiven them, yes. BUT the trauma remains and most likely needs to be addressed…sometimes that means getting back in touch with the rage of how your parents were not there for you. IT DOES NOT MAKE THEM BAD PEOPLE..
the reason we have so much “mental illness” is becasuse NO ONE is willing to take responsibility, least of all family members…
we’re all in this dysfunctional, crazy making party together…it’s not a blame game…it’s about learning how to heal and STOP the cycle.
We are now open for comments.